Adjusting Phase?

I've put off writing here for the last couple of months for many reasons.  For awhile, I felt like I barely had time to blink, I felt like the things I wanted to say I should really keep in my head, it was feeling more like an obligation than fun, AND I know people are not interested in my boring, little life.  But this is my outlet and somedays I feel like I'm going to lose it if I don't just get these things off my chest once and for all.

I have used the word "adjusting" more in the past couple of months than I could have ever imagined.  We are all in a state of adjusting around here and it has proved to be more of a challenge than I could ever have imagined.  I am adjusting to more people in our household, which also comes with more opinions.  Most of which are not welcome.  Jack is adjusting to coming and going and also having the girls come and go, as well as someone new being his parent and living there all the time. Jared is adjusting to all of us and our ways, some of which I can tell he wasn't aware of when we were just dating.  And the girls are adjusting to having a stepmom....or stepmonster as some people like to call it.

I know that no family is perfect and every one has their issues.  Ours just seems to be so complicated sometimes. There are all these extra facets that come with it.  Three kids with three sets of parents, which comes with three different opinions.  Wooo...I am worn out, exhausted, and tense.  I'm trying to work on being a better me and letting go of all of this.  It is not doing me any good but I'm finding that the older I get, the harder this is for me and I like to think I have good reason....that it's because I have become a tad wiser and not as much of a pushover as I used to be.  It used to be so easy for me to forgive and move on but something has changed and it really is a challenge.  I've decided that this is going to be one of my resolutions to really work on in the next year.  It's not doing any good and wasting energy but nonetheless, they are my feelings and they are valid.

And the best part is that this whole adjusting phase that seems so hard at times is 110% worth it.  What I have lost in some ways, I have gained tenfold in others and it feels better than perfection.

This is my first Christmas ever where I feel like I really have my own family.  We are creating our own traditions and though it's unconventional, it's more than I've ever had since leaving my parent's house.  It's such a special time and I think this is going to be such a special holiday for us. We are making memories daily and soaking it all in.