9 days left and sunshine ahead

Yeah, 9 more days! I seriously can't wait and I'm so excited.  I have waited my whole life to feel this way about someone.  And there is no rain in the forecast...hallelujah, thank you Jesus!  Although it's supposed to be hot...but oh well.  Hot and sunny is better than raining!

Stress is all around so all I can do is try to keep a good perspective.  At this point, we can only do what we can do and not worry.  At the end of the day, we'll be married no matter what.  And that is more than enough.

Knock on wood

People keep asking me how school is going this year.  I continue to worry a little that the bottom is about to fall out of everything in my life, including this.  My classes are amazing.  Really...they are.  They listen, they do what I ask, and have even told me on numerous occasions that they love coming to my class and think I'm so funny.  They compliment me daily on my outfits (very important to me) and have even said today that they would wear everything that I wear.  Big compliment coming from teenagers to a thirtysomething woman.  Even my only male fashion design student told me he liked my shoes.  I realize these are in the mags right now and I bought some this weekend, even telling Jared that I'm a trendsetter and I bet I'll get lots of compliments on them.  Which I did...which in turns making me very happy.  Best thing you can do for me is compliment my outfit.  Okay, not really.  I like compliments in general.  But seriously, my kids are great.  They make coming to work a joy.  Let's hope this trend continues.

On another note, we are having a friend fiesta this weekend and Jared is headed to Matagorda with the boys.  Jack went to his dad's today so I won't even have anyone to drop off in the morning.  I actually look forward to this and waking him up in the morning.  When he's still sleepy and puts his hands around my neck and doesn't let go right away.  Makes my heart happy.  I've been stressed and struggling with some things lately so this weekend of relaxation could not come at a better time and I think it will be just the re-charge I need.  One of the biggest things I miss about San Marcos is having a group of psychiatrists at any given hour. 
Peace.....

prayers

I laid Jack down last night afor the first time, showed him how to put his tiny palms together for his prayers.  We say a little prayer nightly but this was his first time to "participate" if you will.  I look at this little being and how full my heart feels just watching him.  Time has flown by and I wish I could freeze so many moments.  I feel like the first year went by the quickest and I put myself on autopilot just to survive.  I blocked out moments.  I got through moments.  And I always want those moments back.  I look at old pictures or pictures of him with his long, shaggy hair and sweet, pink cheeks and I wish I could back, if just for a moment. 

I have an unhealthy habit of not always living in the present as most of us do and of being scared of being too happy.  I guess with my history I assume the bottom will eventually fall out of things when life is too perfect.  I'm having those moments now.  I pray.  I try to pray daily.  I try to remind myself to pray even more and that I need to go to church because then bad things will not happen. I know...it's silly.I can't pray away the inevitable and my life is wonderful.  Yes, bad things have happened and these won't be the only trials and tribulations I see in my lifetime.  But I am healthy, I have a great job, a home, a car that runs, a beautiful and healthy child, a wonderfully supportive family and friends, and an amazing man who loves me just the way I am. I have friends that are going through much more.  My heart is heavy for them and their own trials. 

So...today I will not worry.  I will only do this.

And this.....

2 weeks of school and sick already!

It's been awhile since I've written - the adjustment to going  back to work, Jack starting and daycare, and finishing up the last few items on our list of wedding to-dos really zapped all the time and energy I had.  For some reason I'm having a hard time adjusting to going back to work this year.  I'm not sure if it's the weather, the fact that I love spending summer days with my little man, getting up early, or that I've been teaching for 10 years.  yes, count it - 10 years....ahhh! How did that happen?  I can't possibly be old enough to have the same job for this long.  I did some calculations and my first job and first class of kindergarteners would be starting their freshman year of high school this year.  That's just plain crazy.

Jack is now in his second week of daycare.  It's been quite an adjustment for all of us.  I always swore I would never be one of those parents crying when they dropped off their child at my kindergarten class.  And I didn't....until I took my first step out the door that day.  I cried the whole way to work.  I cried again multiple times during first period.  I even made my co-worker cry as she thought about her 40 year old son and their memories of that time.  Jack did not cry.  Not that day at least, thank you, God!  But he did cry the rest of the week.  And we have to have a pep talk everyday that Mommy goes to school, Honey goes to school, Kelly goes to school, Jill goes to school, Campbell goes to school....you get the picture.  He seems to be loving it and is doing well.  He's happy as a lark when I pick him up.  He hasn't a bad report once (except that he cries sometime and doesn't eat much but hey, you can't win them all).
Here's a picture from the first day....I will cherish this picture forever.

Taking his seat at Small World

 

Breaking in his new boots

We got almost everything done on our list of wedding to-dos besides a couple minor items.  We also got in a quick trip to see Kelly and Tony Sunday night....went to hit golf balls at a kid-friendly driving range and had some Mexican and margaritas.  Jack loved it all .... think I definitely have a lefty on my hands though.

 

Part of attending school and daycare means contracting every bug, virus, infection, cold, etc.  That part I had forgotten about.  I think Jack brought a little bug home and now I'm home for the day with it.  Actually this is my third day but the first where I consented to stay home.  I never use my days for being sick myself.  I usually just gut it up but this was not possible...plus I needed to disinfect the house.  I felt as though I was on my last leg and have been in survival mode.  Luckily, I have Jared to thank for keeping everything together for the past couple days.  He bathed Jack, cleaned the kitchen, got whatever I needed, gave me some space to relax, did some wedding projects....God, I love that guy.  I don't know what I would have done without me. 

It really made me realize how horrible a feeling it is to be sick.  I can't imagine what it's like to have something much more serious than a stomach bug where you never really feel 100%.  I kept thinking to myself, "God, if you will just make me feel better, I will do a., b, and c....".  I truly have a new compassion for those who are in these circumstances and will make an extra effort to say a prayer for them daily.  What a blessing I take for granted to walk around in a fairly healthy and normal body and be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want.  I will not complain about a couple extra pounds or a little gray hair.  Never again.

On one more note, Kelly sent me this picture yesterday.  Look at the resemblance between Jack and I.  This is one of my most favorite pictures of my mom and I .... just before we went to the rodeo in Houston.  I was 3 years old.  Look how pretty my mom looks, too....:)