I've been putting off writing for awhile now because I honestly feel like I don't have anything interesting to say. Life is good, we have settled into a routine finally, everyone seems to be happy and healthy, and I feel more blessed than ever. Except that I have a pain....in the neck...literally. This seems to happen to me every couple of months and is so horrendous that I can't concentrate on anything else. It makes me put into perspective actually being sick with an illness that leaves you down and out. All I think is "God, please let me feel better....please, please let me feel better." I may have even said to shoot me and put me out of my misery, which is a horrible thought and really ridiculous as well.
I guess it's due to toting a very heavy, 35 lb toddler around but I can't help it. On days when he's screaming, "carry me, Mama" and all I want him to do is walk, I try and remind myself that there will come a day, all too soon, when he will not ask for me. When he will not need me, will not want to hold my hand, or want me to lay in his bed at night. It's going by way too quickly. That seems to be one of my biggest worries lately. All I want to do is spend some real time with him but things have been busy lately and quality time hasn't been on the docket. I hate that I have to share time with him and that he has to leave every other weekend. I make the best of things and of course, I enjoy the break sometimes but I would much rather have 35 lbs. of chaos running around and screaming, then have him leave every other weekend, only to return and tell me "no" and "he wants his Daddy" for the next three days. We are in the midst of an adjustment period once again and far too much transiton for him or for me for that matter.
Anyway, I will not worry about things I cannot change and focus on what I can. Which is lots of quality time coming our way.....God, I love that kid.
